Honesty and Openness

Honesty is hard. The last couple days I've been realizing that I really do struggle with being honest, and often forget that I should be striving to be truthful. Most of this is that I have built up walls around myself, and have generic saying that I use rather than verbalizing what I am actually doing, or how I'm doing etc...  I am not exactly sure why I do this, and part of what I love about blogging, is that I feel like I can be myself and be completely honest.

I think part of the reason for my dishonesty is that I have issues with trusting people, or I don't feel like what I say is actually important. I faithfully strive to be honest in things that I think are important, yet somehow other things seem less important to be honest in, which is wrong. For example, while organizing random things in one of my friend's rooms they'll  ask "What are you doing?" to which I almost always respond "nothing..." It doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but they typically call me out for lying, because they hate it.

Another example: When people ask how I'm doing, unless we have a solid relationship and I really trust them, I often will just say "fine" or "okay" or "good" regardless of how I actually feel. I know a lot of people do this, but I feel terrible when I respond this way, and then the other responds extremely truthfully.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that we need to be honest in every aspect of our lives, not just in the big or important situations. Being honest builds up others respect and trust in you. Today I consciously have tried to be honest, and as a reminder wrote "honesty" on my hand in pen; I'm hoping that over time I will get better at this, and be more open and trusting with others.